Saturday, 31 December 2016

Falling In Love With Fear

Fear rules our life.


Fear of doing badly in school.
Fear of making a bad impression.
Fear of not getting that job.
Fear over money.
Fear of the thought that fighting for yourself would lead to more trouble.
Fear of saying something wrong.
Fear of letting someone down.

Need I go on? Did any of that sound familiar?

I recently wrote about how I overcame my fear of bike riding and it got me thinking about life and fear and its impact on our lives. Everyone is usually so scared to go after something that scares them but they never think of what the good outcome will be, only the bad. Fear is like a little voice in your head telling you that you will always fail. But you won't.

I remember the first time I stood up for myself in an argument instead of being scared. And I felt amazing, like I had accomplished something and you know what? I didn't get in trouble either, in fact, I was praised for sticking up for myself.

I remember being in school and actually speaking out in class instead of being scared I was wrong. I was so proud of myself. I actually started doing better in school and I was trusted by my teachers more.

I also remember the time that I conquered my fear of bike riding. I felt incredible. I can now move around more quickly and exercise a lot quicker.

I remember falling in love without being scared of what could go wrong. And it still feels incredible today. Bringing those walls down and letting someone in is the best decision you can ever make if it's the right person.

So why does it rule our lives? You should never be scared to conquer a fear. Ever. We expect children to do it without much help, whether that's them being scared of the dark or any imaginary monsters. They're thrust into their fear, told monsters don't exist and don't have the choice but to face it because someone's forcing them. And they come out better for it. But who's forcing us?

Face your fears. As far as I can tell, you have two choices. Face that challenge that you have to overcome eventually or you can just let it rule over your life. You will feel proud and accomplished and you'll feel more confident when you overcome it. It doesn't matter what your fear is or what anyone else thinks. At the end of the day, you're overcoming it for you.

Now when I'm going through my day, I'm always aware of what gives me that feeling of fear and most of the time, I'll go out of my way to conquer it. Like underpasses and bridges, I hate them, I absolutely hate walking under them. I used to run under them actually. Nowadays, I take my time walking under. Am I over the fear that the bridge will collapse? No. But I'm slowly conquering it. Some fears aren't a 'one and done' kind, some take longer and that's okay.

It all boils down to conquering the fear in your head mentally and then physically. We all know the power of subconscious thinking. As soon as you think something like 'I'll fail', you will because you've made yourself believe you will. Conquering a fear starts in the mind, when a fear arises, try and counter it with a reasonable thought, like:

Scared of going to an interview? An interviewer is a person, just like you. Just relax.

Scared you'll fail that exam? If you've done all the studying you can then you can only do your best.

Then just breathe and feel your fear slipping away.

Fear is necessary and beautiful. Without it what would give us a challenge? Life would be a breeze, it would be boring.We need fear to grow, as a person and in life.

I've started falling in love with my fears because they're just an extra challenge. And when I overcome them I know I'll feel incredible. It'll always feel like an accomplishment because it is, it's a personal victory. One you should always feel proud about and one you'll always feel more confident about.

As we come into the new year, really think about your fears and what you can do to conquer them. You have what it takes. Let me take you to a quote I have loved since I first set my eyes on it and we'll finish there.

"To me, Fearless is not the absence of fear. It's not being completely unafraid. To me, Fearless is still having fears. Fearless is having doubts. Lots of them. To me, Fearless is living in spite of those things that scare you to death."
-Taylor Swift

What fear are you going to conquer now?

What fear are you going to conquer now? What fears have you already conquered? Share them down below and don't forget to share this with your friends on social media!


  1. For me Fear is about the unknown and moving out of my comfort zone x

  2. What a lovely way of looking at it! I definitely agree that challenging our fears is the way to go :)

  3. When you believe in yourself and have faith you can do anything but it's good to challenge youself definitely!

  4. This is really interesting - I always try to face my fears, the irrational ones anyway, but I do think fear is good as it stops me doing things I'll regret!

  5. this is definitely something I want to focus on in 2017, pushing myself and standing up for myself.

  6. This is interesting I suffer from anxiety and I hate being out of my comfort zone but when I do its never as bad as I expects.

  7. My fear is getting old. I genuinely get scared of getting to 30 x

  8. Since having Jack, I've faced a few fears. I've still got a few I need to face (like clowns) but I'm slowly but surely getting rid of them x

  9. Very nicely written, unfortunate for my parents, fear was not something I was born with but I did manage to put a scare into them raising me. I always say though that there is a reason for fear sometimes and it's meant as a warning for me or to take caution.

  10. The fear of the unknown gets me. I'm a bit of a control freak!

  11. This is a very interesting and useful way of looking at fears, and trying to fall in love with them is a challenge in itself but like you said: you can't let them rule your life!

  12. It is great to conquer fears but not always easy to do so. Birth was one of mine and I did it 3 times but I'm still terrified.

  13. What a positive post to kick off the new year! Everything you stated was well said! x

    Whitney Loren |

  14. I conquered the fear of flying which was pretty epic and now the fear is not much anything else but of getting old. Great post

  15. I got over my fear of flying on my own last year when I flew to dubai on my own! xxx

  16. For me fear is stepping outside my comfort zone and entering the unknown. But I'm trying to overcome it x

  17. I love this idea of falling in love with your fear instead of fearing it. I have a fear of heights and I i'm going to climbing kilimanjaro this year so hopefully that will help!

  18. Great thought provoking post. I have a fear of things I can't control which I would love to conquer one day! x

  19. What a great post. Fear pushes me to do more with my life.

  20. Falling in love with fear sounds amazing, but I don't think I could ever fall in love with heights xx

  21. Such a fantastic post. Facing your fears is frightening, however so rewarding. I have been doing it over the past year, and aim to keep challenging myself over this coming year. xx

  22. I'm trying to overcome my fear of worrying what others think about me.

  23. Very insightful post and a wonderful reminder for us all :) Thanks for sharing with us


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